My graduation from high school was very special to me as I am sure it is special for every body. The day was like no other; although it was raining and muggy the entire day, my heart and spirit were still up. Now that I get to look back, I wonder what truly made that day so special. It might have been the fact that I no longer had to show my face in that dreaded place called Clifton High, or maybe that my summer vacation was about to begin, or that an old chapter in my life was closing and new one was opening up. In all reality I think it wasn’t any of those things, what really made that day special were the people that were around me to see that momentous day in my life.
“Edgar come down stairs everybody is ready to take the pictures” said my mother,
I was all dressed up but one of my accessories was still undone, my tie.
“Abuelo, can you do this for me” I said, “Si, come hear” said my grandfather, then as he was tying the noose he said “your grandmother and I are so happy and proud for you, you know Edgar, you’re a very special kid, and we all love you so very much”. A tear almost came down my face, but I had to keep it in because I didn’t want anybody to see me.
First, I took a picture with my grandparents, sister and niece, my aunt, and finally my mother; the feelings were unordinary I felt as if everything was right with the world. My family was around me, and we were all lauphing looking at each other feeling content with this milestone I had achived. In my family however, when one person accomplishes something great its not only a victory for that person it’s a victory for the entire family. Even thought I know felt good I know my family felt good with me and that made it even more special.
This particular scene took place in the living room of my house. Why do they call this room a living room? Nobody really lives there. I think I like the other name for that room better the family room because that is exactly what it is a room for the family. In many houses the family room is composed of a television, a couch, a love seat, and maybe a book shelf or something of that matter. My family room is a bit different. In a every house we have lived in my mother has been consistent about one thing she has never wanted a television in the living room. She says a television takes away from the real purpose of the family room, which she says is a room where the family is supposed to come together and talk and converse, hear each other out, “our therapy room.” I have always disliked this idea, especially when I didn’t have a television in my own room. Looking back, like everything else, she was probably right about this decision as well. The family room is the place where my family has become the tight nit family that we are. On a regular weekday we all get to my house late. And since the dining room is cold in the winter, and secluded in the summer, and also quite small; we all grab our food and we eat in the family room. There we talk about our day, our tomorrow, our dislikes, our complaints, and priorities. Most importantly we are aware of who we are living with. Everybody changes, and if you don’t communicate with the people you live with you’ll find out pretty soon that you dint know who your relatives are. My family has stayed together through the ups and downs because of our common ground, literally. The place where grow our kinship, our family room.
My house represents my family, but it also represents my peace and harmony. Besides beaing a place for the family, a home is a place for the self. If anyone asked me to choose one place and only one where I would spend the rest of my life it would have to be my room. I have always considered myself a home-body, a person who’d rather be home than in the streets. And my favorite place in my house is my room, my sanctuary, where I reach serenity.
When I was sixteen I started working in a foot locker in my local mall. As a matter a fact the first time I ever went to that mall was to apply for a job; because for the first two years of living in NJ we didn’t have a vehicle and it simply did not interest me. Anyway I worked there for one and half years, and then because of an issue I rather not get into I got fired. What a horrible feeling that is, especially when its your first job and your still a teenager. Being fired feels as if the entire world has gone dark, there is no daylight no electronic lights, the entire world is in complete darkness. By this time I had already piles up a stack of bills. I was paying my siter back for a loan she gave me to buy my car, I was pay my car insurance (which is ridicoulsly high for a teenager in NJ), my phone bill, my gas and car maintenance, and I was helping my mother out with groceries and other bills of the house. So when I got fired I had no idea how I was going to deal with all of this bills let alone tell my family.
It was a Saturday, and I had just came into to work at two when my manager pulls into the back and gives me the bad news, my heart dropped. What do I do now? I went to my car turned on the ignition and went to the only place I thought about going, my house. The house was empty, feeling in a state of numbness I took my jacket off and went to my room fell face first on my bed and took a nap. I recommend that treatment for anyone who finds themselves in some type of turmoil, go home and take a nap. When I awoke I still had the same problems but they somehow didn’t feel as bad or as trouble-ling. I woke up to the most soothing voice and the tender hands of my mother. She immediately knew something was wrong I was never home that early. She caressed me and asked me what was wrong I told her she gave me a hug and told me to not worry about anything; everything was going to be ok. And it sure was, two weeks later I got a call from Circuit City in Union, I went for an interview and I started working for them.
If my mother had told me the same thing in any other place in the world I don’t think it would have had the same impact on me. Nevertheless the tranquility of my room mixed with her motherly voice gave me peace and serenity. I am not ashamed to say; in fact I’m proud to say that I am a mama’s boy. I am much too big now, but when I was younger whenever I had a nightmare the first place I went was to my mother’s bed. When your small there’s no better place to sleep the nudged under you mother’s back. The warmth and scent are quite unique the feeling of belonging is like no other. When we lived in an apartment in Washington Heights, my mother’s bedroom was the place where my sister and I gathered to watch our nightly Spanish soap operas before we went to sleep. It’s amazing to see now how my nieces and nephews, when all five are in my house, at one point or the other, seem to find themselves in the same situation; my mother on the bed and the kids surrounding her watching television. It’s almost as if my mother was mother goose and doesn’t matter whether it’s her own kids or her children’s kids’, her bed always feels the softest and the most welcoming.
A home is about the family, without the family a home would simply be a house, it is where a person interacts with not only their family but their friends. I have the pleasure of having a backyard. This is a big deal for me because its recent I wasn’t born with a backyard, therefore every summer I try to throw as many barbecues as I possibly can. The deck in my backyard is where I have enjoyed my friends and my family the most. I am the king of the grill all I hear is
“Edgar put another one on” or “damn man you burned the $&% out of this.”
Nevertheless the most significant instance in my back yard didn’t happen with a crowd of people but between two people, myself and my grandfather. My grandfather is an evangelical pastor, and a very well read man, so whenever I have philosophical questions about life the person I am fortunate to talk to is my grandfather. When I was fifteen I frequently pondered about the meaning of life, why were we here? And one summer afternoon my grandfather attempted to give me an explanation. One of the things which I appreciate about my grandfather is the fact that when I ask such questions he doesn’t simply give me the “Christian” answer, he’ll try to give me a profound logical answer. For this question he was quite explicit he said “Edgar what you have to understand is that life is a journey, and everyone’s journey is different, therefore there isn’t one definitive answer as to why God created you or anyone else”. I was quite confused. “So what your saying is that at one point or another I’ll find out the meaning of my life is, but what if I die before I do” I said. He answered by saying “the other thing you have to remember is that you aren’t in this world by yourself, everything you do whether you realize or not affects if not one several people”
“Its almost like a domino affect what you do today will some how affect somebody tomorrow, so make sure everything you do will impact the people around you in a good way”
That became my motto; from that day on I try to have a positive impact on everybody I come across. I also know however that what I may find to be the right thing, might be the wrong thin for somebody else, and that is why he said “the people around you.” That took me like two years to figure out, I am not perfect and I can’t change he entire world by myself, but I could damn sure affect the people I’m around.
They say a house isn’t a home without family. For me that is definitely true. I love my house but without the experiences which I’ve had with my family my house would simply be a place. However it has more meaning than that, it’s my place of peace, kinship, and my identity.
