Blog # 7 reflection on first essay

For me what went well in my first essay was the story itself. I do have to admit however that as I wrote I kept coming up with new important facts that I needed to add on that I hadn’t thought of before I started writing. Nevertheless I do feel that I got the point across that I wanted. When I read it again a couple of days later I was really satisfied with the story itself but there are a lot of things in the essay itself that I can improve on. For instance the structure of it, maybe I need to move some of the paragraphs around or I could also emphasize or explain some of the topics which I brought up in the story. I also need to fix the grammar. Even though it was the first draft I felt the wording was a bit sloppy, and I could organize my thoughts a bit more. I tried to use segments in my essay and although I personally thought it was successful, looking back at other CNF essays and some of my classmates’ essays I realize that I still need to improve on the way I format the paper and when and how I introduce new information. I think I should be more concise but clearer in some aspects of my essay. If I get the opportunity to rewrite one or two more times I do think it is going to be a success, because the story itself, like I said, is a good one, at least to me.
For my next essay I think I will try to use more dialog, I didn’t use any dialog in my first essay. I am not quite sure which personal story I will write about for my next essay, but I will also try to incorporate feelings, or what I thought were the feelings, of other people involved in the story. Even though it was a story about what I went through, in my first essay I didn’t suggest or include the way people who were around me reacted to what was going on in the story. Some of the topics I am thinking of writing about are my transition from Washington Heights New York to Clifton New Jersey, Going to my first concert, or meeting my father for the first time. I still haven’t decided which one I am going to use yet. The one about moving is a good one to write about because there is a lot of information which I can focus on and it is also relatively new so I remember a lot about that point in my life. The one about my father is very very emotional, I don’t if I want to revisit that subject again idk maybe I will. Out of the possible choices those are the ones which I am leaning towards, I still have to do more thinking on how I would incorporate the aspects which I didn’t include in the first essay into my second essay.